Friends, Elena outdoes herself with this week’s Top Chef recap:
After a entertaining but not delicious dinner at Mastugen on Wednesday night and some cable malfunctions on Thursday (don’t worry, the DVR was safe, but the remote wasn’t working so I couldn’t actually choose a program to watch), I settled in to watch Top Chef.
So there was a definite “American” theme with this episode, which I suppose is more fitting than a Rocco-Bertolli theme. In the quickfire the cheftestants have to make their own version of a hot dog. Donatella Arpaia is the guest judge and Padma lists off her restaurants, forgetting Kefi but name dropping Mia Dona (yummy) and David Burke and Donatella (this must be filmed before her falling out with David Burke). The cheftestants will be compared against the “world famous hot dog stand in Queens.” Now I had to rewind that a few times to make sure I heard that right. There’s no such thing. I’ve never heard of it and I’m pretty sure most of you haven’t either. How world famous can it be? Besides the best food in Queens is either dim sum in Flushing, Indian in Jackson Heights (or as Top Chef calls it – Little India), or Greek in Astoria. Imagine going all that way for a hot dog. Ha!
The challenge is to make a modern interpretation of a hot dog. Okay… did I miss the moment when sausage became anonymous with hotdog? So even though it is an American challenge, the best hot dogs channel other cultures, specifically Indian and Mediterranean. Already a great start for the American challenge. Ironically, it was just last episode when Radhika said that she wanted to do something besides Indian food and then proceeded to cook Indian food two weeks in a row. Fabios and Radhika’s both look like hot dog interpretations I would want to try… which is saying something. Because I don’t like hot dogs that much – except for that day when they wouldn’t serve me. In the end I don’t care that Radhika wins the quickfire and immunity.
All in all the quickfires are too hard to keep track of when there are this many cheftestants. We don’t really learn about most of them. We do learn that Stefan is in the bottom. I love it. Donatella’s face actually radiated her disgust. I am so over him. Also in the bottom is Jill. Ah Jill – you actually used a hot dog in your dish, which means you must have also missed the hot dog and sausage are synonymous memo. And Arianne who is being positioned as not being able to cook. More on that later.
The elimination challenge is now to make new American food. Having gone to a number of New American restaurants in NYC, this is a huge category with only very vague things as off limits (probably not sushi, but miso inspired sauces are okay). “Chase” takes control of the kitchen, which bodes well for him in future episodes. In the first time in Top Chef history – 5 people are willing to make desserts. I am floored. Don’t you know that desserts are how you get eliminated? It’s one of the cardinal rules of Top Chef. Argue your way out of dessert.
The cheftestants proceed to race around the Whole Foods on the Bowery with the “soccer moms.” I’m not sure where you think you are, but there are not hordes of soccer moms shopping in the Bowery Whole Foods. Perhaps the one uptown on the West side. In addition to volunteering to do dessert, two more cardinal rules were violated in this shopping trip: (1) never buy meat in a can unless you’re in the $10 challenge (and if they’re having a $10 challenge in NYC much less in Whole Foods – best of luck), (2) if you haven’t worked with a product, don’t seek it out (ostrich egg?) if not forced upon you – it will not make you stand out, most likely you will screw up.
Everyone proceeds to cook, and then they are told they’re serving Top Chef applicants at Craft. How nice. I’m still bitter that I did not find a way to eat at any of the challenges. Interestingly enough – they didn’t tell us what restaurants the not selected diners came from.
As a Bravo rule, when someone says that they expect to be in the top 3 they are either going to end up in the top 3… or the bottom 3. So far the little lesbian from Team Rainbow says she’s going to be in the top 3 and so does the canned crab guy. Since canned crab guy violated a rule – we know he’s in the bottom. Last year we learned that judges fawn over good soups (and bacon) so little lesbian should be clear. Upholding other Top Chef expectations, someone uses scallops and in a stunning move nobody does anything two ways. I am floored. In yet another surprise the judges like some of the desserts, but not Ariannes. Who can’t cook. How do you screw up lemon meringue so much that Padma spits it out? This is something you make regularly? You know it’s too sweet and can do it again, but you just serve it? If this were America’s Next Top Model Tyra would be asking her if she really wants to be here or if she wants to go home to her family and her restaurant.
Oh Fabio way to defend yourself for the winning dish thinking they would hate it. Ha. European domination continues. I think if I have to pick a European I prefer Fabio. Those tricky olives look super yummy. I could go for some beef carpaccio. Surprisingly no entrees were in the top 3 and one dessert was. Keep your eye on Carla who made yummy tarts. Apparently her spirit guide is guiding her to the right dishes and ingredients.
And we end up with the bottom 3, with two rule violators (canned crab, ostrich egg) and Arianne. Right now Arianne is growing into the Wendy Pepper of Top Chef. We’ll see how that goes. Jill if you can’t speak about your dish you’ll never be kept. And Jill goes. I’m not surprised and don’t really care about Jill. It’s hard for eliminations to have serious weight at this point. But I’ll be tuning in next week, hoping to see Stefan fail, Fabio be okay, and the little lesbian – who’s name is Jamie and I think is my favorite – do well. Until next week where before enjoying dinner with your family you can watch the cheftestants cook for the Foo Fighters and wonder how the Nirvana baby is 17 years old.
