Introducing… a new weekly feature on Top Chef!

Okay little campers, Top Chef premiered and was, per us, fantastic.  In upcoming weeks, Elena (and maybe me, Eric, and Evan) is going to live blog/guest blog a response.  This week, however, we present you with her running list of comments and thoughts on the Top Chef premiere.

My [Elena's] running thoughts on Top Chef …

1) Who when they have one dish to impress Coliccho picks a spinach salad? I mean not anything special? Just a spinach salad? You deserve to go home – which is sad because I would have routed for her.
2) I love that nobody has any idea about NYC neighborhoods. Just wait until they see Brighton Beach is Russian. HA!
3) I already love team rainbow.
4) I already hate the Europeans
5) Why does that guy have little things shaved into his beard? He doesn’t in the scene. Is this like season 2? Did he get drunk and start shaving his face and the producers said “oh we’ve already seen people get drunk and shave things, no need to see that again.”
6) The hot blond from Miami looks like Chase from House.
7) The hot blond from Miami was paired with Fabio which I found ironic since he has model good looks and the other guy looks old and not hot.
8) I wonder how Little Italy and Chinatown split up their neighborhood. Were the Chinatown people like oh here’s 2 blocks, we’re going to take the rest of the neighborhood.
9) Dude is the guy with the little things in his beard is perma-drunk?
10) Is Little India Jackson Heights? Why didn’t they just say Jackson Heights. I totally thought they were taking them to 6th st between 1st and 2nd.
11) Is nobody making scallops or doing something 2 ways?
12) At first I thought the young guy would be like Daniel Vosovic… but I think not as much. More like the annoying little brother.
13) Of course you’re doing modern Italian cusine – you work at Centro Vinoteca.
14) Reality shows are too hard when there are this many people.
15) Can you plate too early? What are you doing fake Fabio?
16) Mmm… Jean-George! Ohh… let me change the Matsugen ressie.
17) Their hair is kind of bad… I can’t believe I kind of miss the faux-hawks?
18) Oh wait – there are the scallops
19) Why are they using names? I mean Jill and Raidka look different – but who knows their names?
20) Oh wait – there are the things 3 ways – not 2 ways. And what do you know – it won! A new change for Top Chef judging?
21) Oh – we’re not going to get gummy noodles at Matsugen! Bam!!
22) Okay so they have in the finals 1 person who picked their specialty, the guy who one the quickfire or the guy who had no idea what he was doing and still did awesome? If this was any show but this one – the tattooed guy would be winning this in a second…

And the winner is…

23) Stefan. Blah. Why would it be great for a Euro to win Top Chef? I already hate you. And not in a fun love to hate you but really love you sort of Spike/Marcel way. In a I cant wait to see a dish crunble around your ears in a Santino-lederhosen sort of way.
24) Okay just cut off the little boy. Bye bye. He’s no Daniel. He’s annoying. He’s the weakest link. He’s the indigo in the rainbow you often can’t see.
25) Gail – what the hell would you say would be in Chinatown? Isn’t Chinatown a walking cliche? Like what would you make? I would have picked up some chinese broccoli – yum. Everything tastes good with Chinese broccoli.
26) Okay – this is dragging on too long. We don’t care about these people yet. This is taking too long kick one off.
27) I just thought the young one was about to cry like Andre in Project Runway. I just closed my shop… sniffle sniffle…
28) How have they still not announced a winner?
29) Goodbye Patrick. I already don’t miss you and forgot who you are. Go back to school. A Top Chef should not be younger than me…
30) I love the semi-sincere awws…. they don’t know you. They don’t care.
31) Previews: Ohhh little lesbian – take down Stefan!

See you all next week!