Kenny Ortega is a genius, or, my thoughts on High School Musical 3

OMG, kiddos, I’m still recovering.  Tonight, I saw High School Musical 3: Senior Year and my expectations were high…

I won’t make you wait…

…they were EXCEEDED.

Before my recap, let’s just all take a moment and discuss Zac Efron, and by “discuss,” I mean look at:

I was fortunate enough to see HSM3 with Lauren and Maggie, both of whom I went to high school with.  How meta!  East High might have kids who are more attractive, diverse, co-ed, and talented than Baldwin, but Lauren, Maggie, and I could beat them in a snark-off any day.

Anyway, here’s what I learned from High School Musical 3:

1. Kenny Ortega is a genius, proving that all great things originated with Newsies… so get ready for his remake of “Footloose!”
2. Zac Efron’s wardrobe is more versatile than Ashley Tisdale’s acting.  In one movie, Zac dressed as a basketball player, a superhero, a Mexican gang member, a 70′s prom king, a graduate, AND ummm… a super hot high school kid
3. Always be suspicious of British exchange students
4. In New Mexico, weather patterns adjust based on musical cues
5. Even if your parents are so rich that they can own a resort and hire your entire high school to work there, you will still drive a Honda (bien merci product placement!) and only be able to attend Juilliard on scholarship
6. Just because you sing and dance ALL the time doesn’t mean you’ve ever actually been to a dance
7. College admissions at East High is actually less realistic than it is on Gossip Girl
8. The token fat girl on the cheerleading squad probably hasn’t learned about appropriate sports bra support… ummm, I guess Disney fired the retouchers from Herbie Fully Loaded
9. Anyone who says they’re really good at goodbyes probably isn’t
10. “Wildcat” as a pet name for your star basketball playing boyfriend will always be lame
11. East High has nicer rooftop gardens than the entire Stanford campus
12. Junkyard workers have great rhythm

The movie also included some fantastic cinematic references:

• Ms. Darbus IS Mrs. Potts from Beauty & the Beast
• Zac Efron’s “I don’t want your life” moment from Varsity Blues
• Fixing up a car and dancing on the hood?  I think we saw that in Grease
• Everything building up to a Juilliard audition was sooooo Save the Last Dance
• Gifted boy going to the San Francisco area to “see about a girl” happened in Good Will Hunting
• Zac’s entire “Scream” song complete with rain effects was straight up Kevin Bacon in Footloose

Hopefully I’ve tempted you all to go see it.  Because, frankly, I want to go again and need to sell a few more friends on it :)