Sassafrass and heroin

Lydia: i have this mother who I work with who you would HATE
she is 40, 2 children, youngest is 8
and she is on welfare, but refuses to work
and she just pisses me off
me: geez…
so what do you do with her?
just listen to her complain?
Lydia: hahah yeah
and try to help her kid
she taught me all this drug jargon
a “dirty yawn” is when you take a breathalizer for heroin, and fail
she says things like, ‘miss Lydia, I aint had a dirty yawn in two months, and that butthead bitch at the school dont know her place”
me: i’m literally laughing so hard right now
Lydia: that is wonderful, because i am glad that it is making someone happy :)
i go home and just drink
i also went to this school
and tried to find the kid
and the teacher told me, oh, we don’t call her jessica, we call her sassafrass
and no one knew what room “sassafrass” was in
me: the school administration calls her sassafrass?
Lydia: yep
and then, whe she told her parents i came for a visit, she said:
“she had her hair all down. She was lookin all cute for the teacher!!!’
her teacher is a 50-year old obviously gay man named Mr. [Redacted]
me: well… gay men like nice hair
Lydia: lol
i have learned SO much on this rotation
me: like not to become a 40 year old welfare mom?
Lydia: lol
not if you are on heroin